Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Few Guy Rules Women Should Be Aware Of

I found this on another site and it got me thinking. Men should come with a rule book. I'm sure it would eliminate 75% of fights in a relationship.

The Guy's Rules

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or changing of the tides. LET IT BE.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!!!

7. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

11. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you angry or sad, we meant the other one.

12. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, do it yourself.

13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials!

14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we!

15. All real men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

17. If we ask what is wrong, and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.

18. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.

20. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

21. You have enough clothes.

22. You have too many shoes.

23. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

Did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Do you have any guy rules of your own?